Over the past three or so years (maybe because I am growing older and my body is beginning to fall into the ground as grass withering away) God has been working an understanding into my thoughts about us facing our final struggle, death.

As Believers we must overcome in this struggle with death. Many do not overcome in this area and allow the fear of death to paralyze them. Please know I have not arrived, my words come hard to me on this topic for my self-life is still alive, but God is slowly killing me. Please understand I am not ready to die, I like the next man want to live life to its fullest doing God's will for my life, but if I must die to God be the glory. Now anyone who says they want to die lacks wisdom, understanding, and is just plainly lying. I would believe it is a fearful thing to stand before the Lord in His judgment. Oh we sing songs and profess our joy of this encounter with God, but in reality for most I do not believe this will be a joyous time, even for Christians who will suffer great loss for wrong attitudes and motives they refused to allow God to deal with during their earthly time. The Children of Israel always told Moses they were willing to go and do whatsoever he said, their words exposed their lack of understanding and wisdom.

Over the last three years God has been working this truth into my life in many ways. I see my father (81) and mother (76) falling into the ground, depending more and more on each other, yet more and more in love. I think it is the greater dependence on each other that births the greater love for each other in their lives. As I travel more these days (and getting older) God touches my strength and health more often. When I am weak God and His word that flows through me is much stronger. I really believe God weakens me purposely so that His word can become strength and life to me and others. It is one thing to speak the word of God from our God-given gifted abilities and strengths, but it is different thing all together to speak the word of God out from a place of weakness. It must be God doing this for no other power controls my life, and God wants us to be weak, the enemy of our soul (Satan) does not want us to be weak he wants us to be strong in our self, well spoken, educated, and sure of ourselves a very dangerous place indeed.

In 1 Corinthians Paul asked, “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? 56 The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.” (1 Corinthians 15:55-56) and then Paul answers his own questions, “But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord , forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 15:57-58) This work that Paul is talking about is not our service to God and His people, but allowing God to make us “His workmanship” (Ephesians 2:10 ). Paul could freely say these words because he was dead to his self and desires. He allowed God to kill him. He died a little bit each time; “ . . . five times received I forty stripes save one. 25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.” (2 Corinthians 11:24-27) How could Paul endure all of this? Paul was dead! Paul was dead to his desires and emotions that would take him out of God. You can not kill a dead man. Paul was dead to his self and now was willing to die for something greater then his self. Paul was crucified, Paul the person was put to death with Christ, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20) For Christ to live within us we must allow God to put to death our desire, ambitions, and motives. God must be able to work so in our lives to a point where we like Esther are able to say, “if I perish I perish” (Esther 4:16 ). God must be able to work in our lives to a point where we are no longer afraid of death. Death is our greatest enemy, fear, and is the last struggle in our soul, “The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.” (1 Corinthians 15:26) After all, if we are willing to go into the valley of shadow of death, what else can scare us? I was discussing this thought with Pastor Iacob from Constanta , Romania and he said it is not we are afraid to die, but the fear is how we shall die. We do not want a painful death. We want to die like John of old age and not Peter, crucified upside down or James pulled asunder. Before we can conquer the fear of death we first must die to our desires, motives, and ambitions of our self-life. Our self-life must be put to death. Now that my friend is a very painful and long process in our lives. But the more we allow God to work in our lives through; experiences, situations, and circumstances the more we begin to die. What a glorious death, a death unto life. The more often God can get us alone to run all of our strength out of us and touch our health once or twice we quickly learn how feeble we really are. If we can conquer death God will be able to get us to do anything, truly nothing shall be impossible. We will be able to eat anything and go anywhere. Even Jesus had to conquer death, “And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.” (Philippians 2:8) Are we greater then the Master? If Jesus had to conquer death to come into the life the Father had for Him then we too must walk the way Jesus walked. Obedience to God and death always walks hand-n-hand. Jesus found this out in the Garden of Gethsemane .

Yes, my friend death is our final enemy to conquer and if we allow God to work in our lives, killing our self-life and selfishness, God will be able to bring us into the abundant life He so desires for us. How can God bring us into His life if we are afraid of death? Let us be obedient to God and allow Him to work in our lives. Let us be willing to die. There is great strength in having no fear and abandoning all for Him. Let us be able to stand like Esther and speak words that will destroy the body, all the while knowing God will save our soul. There is no greater strength.